I think it’s pertinent to state what I’m up to right now. I’ve got a lot going on.
#1, I’ve posed Elder Kain, as I stated, in Zbrush in a couple of poses, ready to be integrated into a huge scene. That scene consists of the Pillars of Nosgoth. I’ve captured them and the surrounding terrain, mostly, from SR2. I also captured them from Defiance. However, SR2 is the main template I’m using. I am using these as a template, but recreating them to scale from scratch beyond. The reason I state SR2 is the main template is because it’s the closest to the original BO1 intent and not drastically changed as the surrounding was in Defiance. I am still incorporating Defiance’s layout a tad, basically having the one branch off path to the gate and those ruins that lead to the precipice overlooking the Lake of Tears and the Citadel stemming from the same pathway that Kain gets out of the Pillars area from in BO1, to the left on the screen. I am not including the path to Voradors, which contradicts both the direction to Vorador’s it should be (it’s NE in Defiance, not NW like it was, if the Pillars are situated with them North and the base South), and negating the path behind the Pillars Raziel uses to get to the underground chamber. I reconcile that Raziel could have either gotten to Vorador’s by going the long way around, as Kain would have to on foot (not in batform, of course), or he’d go through the dense forestry to the North West.
Anyway, so the Pillars’ landscape is what I’m doing now. I’ve finished their blueprint, most of the main gate to them seen in SR2, and I’m on my way to ironing out the landscape’s peaks and valleys. I’m eventually going to render this all in Cryengine 3, and use their foliage system (and awesome lighting). I did wind up modeling a tree in Zbrush, thinking that I could use it to bake down to a lower poly model for rendering outside of it, but again Fibermesh and the Micromesh — tricks of Zbrush — prove useless outside of it. Unless I want a tree that’s millions of polygons… My Pine tree was pretty sweet, though.
Ok. #2… I’ve been battling Sleep Apnea for years now, and it’s gotten no better. Well, it comes and it goes, as far as waking in terror from my mind forcing me to wake, gasping for air, or reacting as if my heart is stopping, or feeling sometimes as if my body has awoken without my brain, or that my brain is all but gone. I can’t describe how it feels to wake and not be able to cognitively think, or see, etc. It’s like perhaps death, or perhaps a person with a gunshot to the brain feels… I don’t know.
Anyway, you might think I am exaggerating, but I am not. Mostly, it causes me to simply be unable to sleep, having induced insomnia from it, and my cycle just revolves around and around itself. I go from sleeping all day, to all night, and back again, never settling on anything resembling a pattern. And this comes to the main point. All of this work, this nonstop work on modeling, sitting here all day, all night sometimes, and hardly moving, for the past close to a year … has taken its toll. My body, as I’ve noted, has deteriorated a bit. Not emaciated. I’ve put on some weight, but it’s not really fat. Some of it is.
Apparently, my feet are swollen, to the point where I can’t even see, or feel, my ankle bones anymore. They look like Hobbit feet… This is pretty severe, with my condition. Maybe my right heart ventricles aren’t working right, or maybe I am just feeling it from both the Apnea and lack of exercise. For a while now, it’s felt like my abdomen and chest area have been swollen, but that comes and goes. I should have known to stop then. I have no insurance, because I’ve spent all of my time working on this stuff, in the hopes of getting a job within the field. I have had a sleep study, when what I had didn’t even pay for it, and that’s hanging over my head, along with a ton of debt from college. All I can do is watch it and hope that it’s not severe enough for the Emergency Room.
Regardless, I HAVE to slow down on this. I HAVE to start exercising again and address this, before it gets any worse. I hope it’s not too far along as is.
Anyway, that’s it. I’m going to continue modeling, but at a SLOWER pace. Damn it; if it’s not one thing, it’s another…